What We've Become
by lisidollMalfoy09
Summary: Kurt thought he'd never see Blaine again, but when he does see him again he wishes he hadn't. Not there. Not at the Games. Not when they were both tributes.
1. Chapter 1: Hearts Made Of Sand

Follow me on tumblr ! lisiareyouokay [.] tumblr [.] com , just take out the spaces and the parenthesis. :p This is my first attempt at a crossover fic, tell me if you enjoyed it and want more !

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><p>"<em>I thought you weren't going to come," whispered Blaine, his hands immediately sliding out of his pockets and moving to circle Kurt's waist. <em>

_Kurt leaned in and pressed a kiss to Blaine's lips, his arms around Blaine's neck already. "Sorry," he murmured back, "it was hard getting away." He leaned forward and caught Blaine's lips in another kiss, tracing his bottom lip with his tongue. He felt Blaine shiver against him and open his mouth, inviting him in._

_Blaine let himself explore Kurt's mouth and just taste him, because he was wonderful. He loved everything about Kurt, even though society told him he shouldn't. Even though they were taught that two boys loving each other was very wrong. They kissed again, but desperately this time, trying to really enjoy some of the stolen minutes they had to themselves._

"_Kurt…" moaned Blaine softly, as Kurt moved his lips to his neck, "Oh Kurt…"_

"_I love you," murmured Kurt, between bites, licks, and kisses. "And I don't care. I don't care what anyone else says. I know I was made to love you."_

_Blaine sighed. The only time he was truly happy was when he was with Kurt. "We should just run away," he said softly, resting his head on Kurt's shoulder._

_Kurt tensed, and then he slowly pushed Blaine away from his body so he could look into his eyes. They were beautiful; a mix of gold, green, and the tiniest hint of a smoky gray. "Let's do it."_

"_What?" Blaine was shocked, "Kurt…that's a huge risk. I was…I wasn't serious."_

_Kurt looked away, "Never mind."_

_Blaine inched forward a little more and cupped Kurt's face with his hand, turning him so that their eyes met again. "Would you really do it?" _

_Kurt didn't hesitate and let the words roll off his tongue, "In a heartbeat."_

_Blaine leaned forward and kissed him again, crashing their mouths together so hard it almost hurt. He clutched at Kurt's body, afraid that he'd lose him after this kiss. After a couple more minutes he had a reply. "Let's do it."_

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><p>At first it hadn't been easy, but anything that was worth it usually wasn't. Kurt lived with his dad, and Blaine lived with both of his parents and his older brother, Cooper. They'd known each other since they were kids, and yes, there had always been something between them. At first they had simply mistaken it as friendship, because of course, that was what they thought they were. They were best friends. Everybody at school and in their small neighborhood knew it; Blaine and Kurt we're inseparable. When they turned eight they'd learned to fish and started training for the Hunger Games, both required by the Capitol. Their families were both somewhat opposed to the games, but they couldn't speak up against it. Instead they sent their boys to training 5 mornings out of 7 and hoped that when they came of age to participate in the reaping, they wouldn't be chosen. On the weekends when they didn't have training or school, the boys liked to take walks on the beach. They'd fish to help their parents out economically and just sit and talk, talk about everything going on around them. But they couldn't talk about everything, like about the games and the way the district was run.<p>

That's why they would sneak out sometimes. In the middle of the night and when no one else was awake, they'd hide under one of the piers and just talk. It started when they were twelve, the night before their first reaping.

"_What if you get chosen, Blaine? Or…me?" Kurt said this quietly, looking down at the sand. He knew his name would only be in the reaping once and that District 4 was relatively big, but he was still scared._

_Both boys were sitting cross legged next to each other in the sand, their arms around themselves as they talked in the cold night. The sea was only a short distance away, the noise of the waves crashing against each other, a lullaby to their neighborhood. _

"_You won't," said Blaine, trying his hardest to sound convincing, "We won't. It's only our first year, Kurt."_

"_I know that," replied Kurt, "but what if, Blaine? It can happen. Remember Sandy?"_

_Blaine nodded slowly, "I miss her, Kurt."_

"_So do I." murmured Kurt, "She was our age when she was reaped." _

_Blaine bit his lip. "No. We won't get picked. We won't." He hesitated for a second but then put one of his arms around Kurt's shoulders, nervous about the action. Sure, they'd hugged before, but this was different. It felt…grown up. _

_Kurt stayed still for a second, but gradually leaned into Blaine's shoulder. They were best friends after all; it was fine for them to comfort each other. But that didn't explain the funny feeling in Kurt's belly, the one that felt like he'd just swallowed a million guppies and they were all fighting desperately to get out of his stomach. "Okay," he said finally, swallowing hard. "Okay."_

_Blaine squirmed nervously and tried not to let his voice shake. "It's okay Kurtie, it'll be okay. Because even if your name got chosen…I'd volunteer to take your place."_

_Kurt gasped softly. "Blaine…you-you can't say that." His mind was spinning._

_Blaine shook his head, "I say it because it's true." He tried to sound fierce and determined, but reality was he was scared too. "I would take your place if you got chosen to go to the Capitol and fight in the games."_

_Kurt drew in a shaky breath and the let it out slowly. "I wouldn't want you to do that though. Because then you'd die. And…I really like you as my best friend. No one else really gets me." He took another breath and then leaned over and quickly pecked Blaine's cheek with his lips, before he could change his mind about it. "Thank you. For being my friend."_

_Blaine closed his eyes and nodded, feeling the skin Kurt's lips had touched tingle. "I'll always be your friend Kurtie, always."_

Their names weren't picked. Not that year, or even the next year. But on the night before the reaping of the year they were both 15, they found themselves on the beach again. They'd gotten a little taller and they still snuck out at night, basically they were closer than ever. Nothing had changed. Or so they thought.

Each of them had started to feel something for each other ever since that night before their first reaping, something bigger than the friendship they shared. But neither knew how to express it, how to show that they cared beyond the boundaries of the intricate friendship they'd so carefully cultivated. Blaine had been there for Kurt when Kurt's mom had died, and Kurt's house had been Blaine's escape when his dad yelled and hit his mom. They'd been each other's everything since they were very young, but now they truly wanted to be each other's something. They weren't even sure what, but they wanted something. Even if neither of them knew how the other felt. Not yet, at least.

_They sat next to each other again, their shoulders touching, hugging their knees to their chest for warmth._

_Kurt was unusually silent, nervous about the reaping. Blaine sensed this and leaned towards him a little. "Hey. Don't worry. We've gotten through 3 reapings, haven't we? We're basically almost half way through. "_

_Blaine wrapped and arm around Kurt's shoulders and waited for a response, knowing Kurt was nervous because each year their names were in that glass bowl more times that the last. He was nervous too, so nervous, but he had to be strong. He had to be strong for Kurt because he loved him, even if he didn't quite know how to say it._

"_Blaine?" said Kurt softly, silently gathering all his courage, as he was going to need it for what he was about to do. "Do you remember the night we came here before our first reaping? When we were twelve?"_

_Blaine smiled faintly. "Of course I do. What about it?" He shifted his body slightly so he could look into Kurt's eyes, eyes so bright that sparkled even in the dark. His eyes were like the sea, with changing colors to match Kurt's fluctuating moods, eyes that hid so many secrets and unspoken questions._

_Kurt took a deep breath. "Remember how you said that if my name got chosen the next day, you'd take my place? Well…would you still do that?" Blaine paused for a second, but that was enough to throw off Kurt. "Oh my god. I should not have asked that. I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry." He sprang to his feet and started walking away. "I'll see you tomorrow,"_

"_No!" Blaine stood up quickly and chased after Kurt. He grabbed his arm and then gently pulled him so they were face to face again. Blaine gripped Kurt's arms and made it so that he couldn't run away. Kurt was agile, but Blaine was stronger, "Hey," he said quietly, "look at me, Kurt."_

_Kurt complied and looked into Blaine's beautiful eyes, tears gathering in them as he faced his best friend. "I should not have asked that I am so sorry. Forget it, just please, forget it, Blaine. I was so dumb, of course you wouldn't feel something for me."_

_Blaine's eyes widened. "Kurt…y-you feel something for me?"_

_Kurt closed his eyes so the tears wouldn't spill. "Yes. Yes and I'm sorry because I probably just ruined out friendship. Can we just forget about this? Please? I just really don't want to lose you…as a friend."_

_Blaine laughed softly, starling Kurt. "No. No no no, I don't want to be your friend. I can't just be your friend anymore."_

_Kurt gasped. "Don't tell me this then," he whimpered, "just let me go. You don't even want to be my friend."_

_Blaine laughed again, close to tears but smiling. "No. I'll never let you go now. Because I love you, Kurt. I love you."_

_Kurt froze. He hadn't said that. Blaine could not have just said that. He couldn't have. "I- what?" He was imagining things, he was sure of it._

"_I love you," repeated Blaine, "I think I have ever since we were kids." His hazel eyes met Kurt's glasz ones, and then suddenly their lips crashed together in a passionate kiss._

Their names weren't chosen the next day, and they were immensely glad. When they talked about it later, neither of them really remembered who had started the kiss. Finally, they simply concluded that both of them had leaned forward. There began the stolen kisses in empty houses and even more sneaking out at night. Love between people of the same sex was banned by the Capitol, and they knew that if they were caught that their families would be in great risk.

They were very careful, but after six months they were getting tired. Another night under the pier and they'd decided to run away, but then things started going wrong. The morning after, Blaine was nowhere to be found.

_Kurt walked into the kitchen of the small house he lived in with his dad. "Dad! Has Blaine stopped by?"_

_Burt Hummel looked up from where he was washing the dishes and shook his head, "No kid, I haven't seen Blaine. He's probably packing though, helping his folks out with everything."_

"_Wait, what?" Kurt's voice shook as his dad's words sunk in. "Packing for what?"_

_Burt looked up at his 15 year old son and sighed, "Blaine didn't tell you yet? Word from the Capitol came down this morning, they're moving about 20 families from our district to district 12. Something about being short on miners. But yeah, Blaine's family was one of the ones picked. Probably because Cooper is strong and would be a big help. I figured he would come over and tell you himself, but like I said, he's probably helping his family. Kurt? Kurt!"_

_Kurt ran out of the kitchen and into his bedroom, tears already wet on his cheeks. He slammed the door shut and moved to throw himself on the bed, but the sight of something that had not been there a couple of minutes before stopped him. There was a single piece of paper laying on his bed, folded in half and moving slightly in the breeze of his open window. He snatched it up._

_Kurt,_

_Meet me under the pier in ten minutes. _

_Blaine._

_It was simple, so unforgiving, and Kurt desperately wanted someone to pinch him and wake up from the nightmare he was in. But it didn't happen. Instead he snuck past the kitchen, where his dad still was, and out of the house. He ran barefooted through the sandy paths that led down to the shore and stopped when he saw Blaine's silhouette a short distance away. He walked up to him with his fists clenched. _

"_How could you not tell me?" hissed Kurt angrily, "Did you know this already? Did you know last night, is that why you didn't want to run away at first? Because you already knew you were going to leave? Tell me why, Blaine!"_

_Blaine ran his fingers through his short dark curls and struggled to find the right thing to say. "No! I didn't know I swear! I was going to go find you this morning, before you could hear it from anyone else, but my mom didn't let me leave at first. Finally I slipped away though, and I crawled through your window and left the note. I am so sorry Kurt, I'm so sorry. I don't want to leave. I would never want to leave the district, not if you weren't with me." He was crying openly now, not even bothering to wipe away the tears. "I don't want to leave. I don't want to."_

_Kurt was crying too, as hard as he had when his mom had died. "I really wish there was some way out of this,"_

_Suddenly Blaine was close to him, so close to him, wrapping his arms around him and pressing their lips together one more time. Kurt choked back a sob and kissed him back fiercely, feeling Blaine's tears mix with his own. "I love you, Blaine. I love you."_

_They'd never said those words to again each other after the first time they'd said them six months ago, but they'd felt it. And now that they were going to be separated, that's all they really wanted each other to know. _

"_I love you too, Kurt," whispered Blaine, pressing their foreheads together, "so much. And even if I grow up and they force me to get married…I don't think I'll ever love any woman like I love you right now, like I'll love you for the rest of my life."_

_Kurt swallowed hard. "I won't love anyone like I love you either, no one, Blaine. And I'll never forget you."_

"_Please don't forget me," whispered Blaine, holding Kurt as tight as he could, "please don't forget me."_

"_I won't," whispered back Kurt, their voices barely audible over the crashing surf, "I don't think I could ever forget you…or the way you make me feel."_

They'd kissed again, softly and then fiercely, but reality soon caught up with them. Blaine left that very same day, turning back for as long as he could to watch Kurt. But eventually they became faded blurs to each other, nothing but a friendship they had carefully cared for until it grew to be more.

Kurt didn't know what to do with his life once Blaine was gone. He spent a whole month just feeling numb about everything, until one day a bronze skinned girl walked up to him.

_Kurt was sitting on underneath the pier again, silently remembering the many heated kisses he'd shared here with Blaine. He was so intent on remembering every single detail that he didn't even notice someone walking up to him._

"_Hey Hummel," she called down to him, as he was sitting in the sand, "come train with me."_

_She was tall, with high cheekbones and a don't-mess-with-me attitude. He'd seen her around ever since they were kids, but he never felt the need to have friends other than Blaine. He knew she was strong, a fighter of the ruthless type, and if anyone could help him train, it was her. _

_She held her hand out towards him, a single gesture that was contract and a promise of a friendship at the same time. Her brown eyes bore into his, and slowly he saw his hand rise and clasp hers._

_That was the day Santana Lopez became his friend._

Kurt trained hard for the next six months, putting all his strength and energy into getting fitter. No, it didn't make him forget Blaine completely, but it did help take him mind off him. His sixteenth birthday came and went, but he barely noticed. The night before his 5th reaping he was under the pier again, singing softly, wishing Blaine was by his side.

"_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be…and I don't want to go home right now…"_

_Kurt wiped away a couple of tears and set his jaw, determined not to cry anymore. It'd been half a year since Blaine left, but Kurt's heart still ached for him every day. But Blaine had probably moved on already, he thought. Maybe he was dating some pretty girl from District 12 just to get his dad to shut up for a while, or maybe he just didn't think of Kurt. _

_It could be as simple and heart breaking as that. Because sometimes when people hurt so much that they don't want to hurt anymore, they hide everything inside themselves. And maybe if they're determined enough, they can use that pain as an escape. They can use it to bury whatever pains them so deep inside of themselves, that they become immune to their own thoughts. Kurt wanted so desperately to do this, but he didn't have the heart to even attempt to forget Blaine._

_He drew a heart in the sand with his finger, but then quickly scratched it out. He'd drawn a pretty picture, but in the same time he'd taken to drawn it, he'd destroyed it too. He stood up and started walking back to his house in the moonlight, bitterly thinking that real hearts were like sand hearts too. _

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><p>PLEASE REVIEW ! :D<p> 


	2. Chapter 2: Seaglass Anchor

**-Hey Guys ! Sorry It's Taken Me So Long To Update, But Life Has Been Crazy ;-; Follow Me On Tumblr, lisiareyouokay Is My Personal Blog, && sugarcoatedtrident Is My Brand New Fandom Tumblr :D [in honor of Finnick of course c; ] Now, I'd Forgotten To Mention That The Song From The First Chapter Was Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls, Which iDo Not Own. Also, iDon't Own Glee Or The Hunger Games. iWish iDid Though, Sigh. Special Thanks To My Betas [[Mariana && Ginny]] Who Helped Me A Lot With This Chapter, So I'll Stop Talking Now && Let You Read ! Hope You Enjoy ! [[btw, Ginny says she loves you all for reading this ^-^ ]]**

Sea-glass Anchor

Kurt dreamed with Blaine that night.

_They were swimming in the ocean, the moonlight being their only light, enjoying the warmth of the water that would soon disappear as the seasons changed. _

"_Kurt! Hey, Kurt!"_

_Kurt turned towards Blaine only to get a mouthful of salt water splashed at him. "Blaine!" He shot him a glare but then laughed and splashed him back, "You're such a little kid."_

_Blaine swam right up to him and wrapped his arm around Kurt's waist. "Yeah," he smirked, "but you love it." Then he dragged Kurt underwater with him and kissed him._

_There was silence, silence and clarity around them, enveloping them and protecting them. Their feet were kicking as they threaded water and their hands were gripping each other's faces, because right now they really were the only two people in the world. They surfaced and kissed again, their bare chests pressed together and their breathing ragged._

_The Kurt pulled away and swam deeper into the ocean, prompting Blaine to follow him and bring him back up to the surface. "Oh, there you are," murmured Blaine, "I've been looking for you forever."_

_Then he kissed Kurt again and it felt like paradise, until a wave crashed over them. Kurt sunk into the water and struggled to make his way back up, gasping for breath when his head broke the surface. He realized he was at the shore and sat on the sand. "Blaine?" he called out. His curly haired boyfriend was nowhere in sight. "Blaine!" he called out louder, eyes focusing on a dark figure making their way to shore. _

_But as he got closer he realized that the figure wasn't Blaine. It was too tall and curvy, as opposed to Blaine's shortness and lean body. The figure came closer and Kurt made out long hair, and then the moonlight illuminated who he was looking at. It was his mom._

"_M-mom?" Kurt reached out his hand to touch her, and to his surprise their hands met._

"_Run, Kurt." Her voice was a sweet melody he hadn't heard in 8 years, but the urgency in it frightened him. "Run sweetheart, now. You need to get out of here. Go, now!" _

_Kurt looked at his mom. She was pale skinned and tall, just like him, with eyes like the sea that he'd inherited from her. Her flowing dress was shifting softly in the breeze, and her brown hair was in waves that tumbled down her back. "Mom…mom how are you here?"_

"_Go! Kurt, run! They have him, and they'll have you soon. They'll take both of you, just like they took me." The waves crashed against each other faster and the wind picked up speed around them, making it harder for Kurt to hear what his mom was saying._

"_But I don't understand!" he yelled, "Who has him? Mom, who has Blaine?"_

_The wind blew faster and faster, not letting Kurt hear whatever his mom was trying to tell him next. Her mouth moved but he couldn't hear her words, and suddenly he was falling. Falling backwards into a never ending abyss that threatened to never set him free._

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><p>Kurt woke up screaming.<p>

He quickly stuffed his fist in his mouth to muffle the scream he had no control over, and after a few minutes his body relaxed. He took a deep breath and untangled himself from the sheets that had somehow wrapped themselves tight around his body, suffocating him and making it hard to move. Finally he padded over to his window and pushed it open, sighing with relief as the scent of the cool sea air wafted in.

The strange dream had left him shaken, and for some reason the creepy feeling refused to go away. He sighed again and pushed his hair back from his forehead, smiling sadly as he remembered his mom used to always do that to him. Kurt missed her a lot, but at the same time he was starting to forget her. That's what scared him the most; that one of these days he was going to wake up and not remember her at all. Not remember the way she always smelled slightly of cymbidiums, the beautiful flowers she tended in her garden. To forget the way her laughter filled the room when she was watching a six year old Kurt dance and sing to her, a huge smile fixated on his face. He craved the power to somehow tattoo those images into his mind so they could stay with him forever, but instead he felt them slip a little further out of his reach every day. Kurt ran his fingers through his hair and then hugged his knees to his chest, feeling empty in a way he couldn't describe.

The only time he'd really felt happy after his mom had died was when he was with Blaine. But Blaine was gone, and just like the memories of his mom, the memories of his first love would soon start to slip away. He didn't want to forget Blaine or any of their kisses and their midnight swims. He wanted to remember every second they spent in the moonlight, hidden from the world but basking in each other's love. It still hurt so much to think about him, but Kurt had learned to not cry anymore. Crying only made his face red and swollen, leading to Burt repeatedly asking if he was okay. He wasn't okay, but that's why he threw himself into his training.

Every day before school, Santana would show up at his door and promptly drag him to the beach so they could sun two miles. Then he would return home, clean up and get dressed to go to school. After school they headed to the training center and put in a few hours before dinner, mostly lifting weights and throwing knives. Weekends were the same, with the exception that they headed to the training center after their morning run. The large building had a maze of obstacle courses and a weight room, apart from various smaller practice rooms and a large array of weapons. Kids as young as eight trained there, but everyone knew the best of the best were Kurt and Santana.

Ever since that day Santana had offered her friendship, she and Kurt had become practically inseparable. They did their homework together and swam in the ocean, just like he and Blaine had. Kurt had never told Santana exactly what had happened between him and Blaine, and she was smart enough to not ask. She wasn't stupid though, and he often thought she knew a whole lot more than she let on. She was private about her life too; reluctant to share about her father who had mysteriously disappeared when she was 12. Their friendship was strong but they both held back their darkest secrets. They were both alike in the way that they never really let anyone in, but both knew eventually the truth would demand to be revealed.

The first rays of sun were starting to fight their way through the clouds, and as Kurt rubbed his eyes wearily he remembered what day it was. Reaping day. He groaned and dragged himself to the restroom, washing up and then returning to his room to find clothes. He pulled on some clean pants and a light blue button up shirt, the one that brought out the color of his eyes. He wandered over to his desk in the corner of the room and reached for the little purple box that rested on top of it, quickly pulling it open and taking out the necklace that rested inside. The delicate silver chain was long and attached to it was a single charm, an anchor made out of sea glass. His mom had given it to him when he was eight, mere days before she had died. Kurt closed his eyes and sighed, realizing he still remembered the moment perfectly.

_Kurt looked at the necklace his mom was holding out to him and reached out to take it, admiring the way the sea glass charm caught the light and sparkled. It was in the shape of an anchor, created by his mom herself. Ever since he could remember, he'd seen it hanging around his mom's neck, always a symbol of her never ending strength. "Mommy, you're giving it to me?"_

_Elizabeth Hummel nodded and reached down to ruffle Kurt's hair, taking the necklace from him and fastening it around his neck. "There. It looks lovely on you."_

_Little Kurt looked down at it in wonder and then back up at his mother, throwing himself at her and burying his face in her neck. "Thank you, mommy. I'll take care of it a lot, I promise."_

_Elizabeth laughed softly and pressed a kiss to her son's cheek. "As long as you have that Kurt, I'll always be with you. Maybe I won't physically be there, but a little piece of me will. Do you know why I shaped that glass into an anchor?"_

_Kurt shook his head and looked into his mom's eyes, which were identical to his own. "No, will you tell me?"_

_Kurt's mom ruffled his hair again and whispered into his ear, "I shaped it into an anchor for different reasons. The most import one, however, is that I refuse to sink. No matter how many mean things people say about me, I'm still going to keep my head up. That's also why I want you to have the necklace, so it can protect you."_

_Kurt's eyes widened slightly and he smiled even bigger, knowing his mom was trusting him with something that obviously meant a lot to her. He threw his arms around his mom again and mumbled into her hair, "Thanks, mommy. I'll wear it forever." _

Sixteen year old Kurt fastened the clasp of the necklace and admired the way it looked in the mirror before tucking it into his shirt. Whenever he wore it he felt like his mom was protecting him, and if anything, he would need protection today. Protection and luck.

After combing his hair he wandered into the kitchen, not surprised to find his dad already sitting on the kitchen table and waiting for him. After exchanging a nod, both men walked out of the house and headed for the town square, no words being exchanged. When they got to the square however they found it alive with laughter and noise, the prospect of the upcoming games bringing joy to the people. Kurt hugged his dad quickly then moved to stand with the other boys his age, but before he got there he saw Santana out of the corner of his eye.

She was wearing a red dress that had once belonged to her mother and wore her hair down in her natural waves, looking effortlessly beautiful. Her face however, was scrunched up in anger. As Kurt got closer to her he noticed that she was arguing with Alejandro, who was two years younger than her. Maria, the little five year old, clung to Santana's leg and refused to let go, until her other brother Paolo carried her and took her away. Santana noticed Kurt approaching and smiled grimly, walking towards her place and pulling her brother along so he would do the same. Kurt shook his head and stepped into the line of sixteen year old boys, silently hoping it would be over quickly. As soon as he thought that, Terry Elise appeared on the stage, eager to start the ceremony.

"Happy Hunger Games Everybody!"

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><p>"Kiera Santos."<p>

A girl of about 14 stepped out of the lines and started walking towards the stage. Once she got there it was obvious she was terrified, her wide green eyes scanning the crowd for someone to help her. To rescue her.

"Now," said Terry, placing a pale hand with long fuchsia colored nails on the girl's shoulder, "would anyone like to step forward and volunteer to take her place?"

"I volunteer."

Kurt recognized the clear, proud voice before he could turn and find in the crowd the beautiful girl he knew it belonged to. She walked onto the stage, her eyes hard and her body tense, but she didn't stop until she was facing Terry.

"Oh this is lovely!" squealed Terry, a high pitched laugh emitting from her mouth, "And what is your name dear?"

"Santana Lopez."

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><p>"Now our male tribute, let's see who is the lucky young man who will accompany this lovely lady into the arena!"<p>

Another fake laugh from Terry brought Kurt back to reality. Her gloved hand plunged into the fishbowl full of slips of paper, and finally she brought one out.

"Kurt Hummel."

Everything stopped. His name had been called. His name had just been called. He felt his feet start walking towards the stage and soon found himself facing Terry, unable to speak through the overwhelming emotions swirling inside of him.

He knew Terry would call for volunteers, but he also knew no one would step forward. Everyone saw him at training, and everyone saw he was good. He and Santana were the best, even better than the older teens they trained alongside, and he had no one that would volunteer for him. No one except Blaine, but Blaine was gone.

Kurt looked sideways at Santana as Terry closed the ceremony, and in her eyes he saw something he'd never seen before. Fear. That's when Kurt realized something that made his stomach drop. If he wanted to come back to district 4, he was going to have to kill his best friend.

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><p>They were given three minutes to say bye to their loved ones.<p>

Burt walked into the room at the justice center and upon spotting Kurt on the couch practically ran to him. He wrapped his arms around his son and just held him, held him because it might be the last time he saw him alive.

Kurt held on to his dad and pushed back tears threatening to spill, "Dad. Dad I'll be fine."

"Yeah. Yeah, you'll be fine." Burt's voice was thick with emotion, and as he pulled back and looked into Kurt's eyes he was reminded of his wife. His wife that had once been a victor herself. His wife that had been mysteriously killed in an accident after she'd tried to start a rebellion. Kurt didn't know that, and Burt knew he should tell his son, but the fear of what they'd do to his son if they knew was too much.

"Dad, I can do it. I train a lot with Tana. I'm one of the strongest. Mom did it. I can do it too, Dad. You know I can. I'll come back to you. "Kurt tried to keep his voice from shaking, but the words he said weren't just for his dad. He had no idea what to do. He was trying to convince himself he'd be all right, but he knew there was a big chance he wouldn't be.

To be a tribute was an honor in their district, but that didn't mean it hurt the parents of the kids any less to see them go. Burt pulled Kurt into another tight hug and then whispered to him, "Be smart. You're so much like your mom, kid. I see her every day in you. But don't lose yourself. Don't forget who you really are in that arena."

Kurt felt his dad pull back and he opened his mouth to ask him what he meant, but at that moment a Peacekeeper stepped through the door of the small room they were in and commanded Burt to leave. Burt shuffled out, only turning back once to look at Kurt before the door closed behind him with a snap.

Santana came into the room next. She slipped in and ran over to him, immediately throwing her arms around him. After getting over the initial shock of the situation, Kurt wrapped his arms tightly around her and stroked her dark hair. Pulling back, he saw her wiping away tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Kurt."

Kurt shook his head and wiped her tears away with his thumb. "No. Don't be. You didn't know what I was going to be picked."

Santana pulled him close again and cried some more. "But I didn't tell you," she said in a small voice, "I didn't tell you I was volunteering."

Kurt pushed her hair back from her face and tried to smile at her. "It's okay, Tana."

Santana started crying harder. "No it's not, no it's not. But I had to Kurt, I had to for Paolo, because I hate the idea of his name being in there next year. For Alejandro, because I want him to smile and then scowl at me when I come back from winning. You know he's just like me, he'd ask why I didn't kill everyone sooner. And for Maria, because I feel like I'm her mom more than our mom actually is. All I want the best for them. And if I win, if I win I can get all of that for them."

Her face was red and blotchy, but Kurt saw her determination through that. He knew she loved her little brothers and sister more than anything in the world, and her actions were proof of that. Kurt held her face in his hands and forced her to look at him. "Santana, it's okay. I know why you did it. I know."

Santana looked at him for a second then said softly, "But it's not okay. It's not okay cause I have to kill you."

* * *

><p>The train ride didn't soothe either of them.<p>

"Your mentor will be here in just a second, I'm sure he'll be just delighted to chat with you both about how you can win and bring honor to your district!" With that, Terry wobbled away on her overly high heels and her obnoxiously bright lime green suit.

As soon as she was gone, Santana scowled and muttered, "I hate that bitch."

Kurt laughed and then stopped abruptly, the ghost of his laugh lingering around them. It felt wrong to laugh, but at the same time it felt necessary. It felt like the tension around them was swallowing them whole, making them feel like strangers instead of best friends. But that's what they weren't they? Best friends. So why was there a sudden barrier separating them? Oh right, they had to kill each other in the arena.

They shifted uncomfortably in their chairs and stayed silent for five more minutes, until finally Santana stood up and walked over to the tv. "I'm tired of waiting like an idiot for Anthony. Come on, let's just watch the other reapings already. Terry told me they were programed on here."

Kurt stood up from his seat on the table and walked over to the couch, sitting in a corner of it as Santana plopped down next to him and fiddled with the remote, grinning when the tv lit up and the reapings started playing in order. District One had two volunteers, as usual, and so did District Two. All four teens looked fit and healthy, wearing proud smiles as they stood on the stage before their respective districts. The boy from district two stuck out to Kurt particularly, because there was something about his smirk that made him feel uneasy.

In District Three a pair of sibling's was reaped, and something inside Kurt broke as the camera panned over to the kid's mother who was crying hysterically. To have one child reaped was horrible enough, but to have two? It must be beyond devastating. Kurt watched Santana volunteer again and then watched himself walk up to the stage, wincing at how tense he looked. "I look like older when I do that. Ew."

Santana giggled and slapped his arm lightly, "At least you don't look like a little kid."

Kurt glared at her and she laughed harder, but quickly stopped when the next reaping started on the screen. A blonde girl from district 5 stood out at her, bubbly and looking mildly confused as her name was called. _Poor thing_, thought Santana, _she won't make it through the first day._

Kurt watched the rest of the reapings feeling slightly numb, knowing that all the teens he was watching now would eventually try to kill him. It was unsettling, to say the very least, and it made him think of what could happen in the arena. Finally, the District 12 reaping started playing, and Kurt forced himself to focus on the screen. Blaine was in District 12. And maybe, just maybe, the camera would pass over him for a few seconds, just enough for Kurt to know he was alright. A dark haired woman with a squeaky voice conducted the ceremony, plucking a paper form the glass bowl and summoning forth a blonde girl to the stage. Then it was time for the boy tribute to be chosen, and Kurt's heart stopped when the woman read out the name.

"Blaine Anderson."

**Please Please Review ! **


	3. Chapter 3: Chasing Smoke

**AN: Hey guys, it's me again c: I'm really really sorry about the many many months I've let pass since I last updated, but here's a brand new chapter and I really hope it doesn't disappoint. Since my writer's block is finally over (somewhat), from now on I'll probably update every few weeks. Follow me on tumblr if you wish, as my ask box is always open to anyone c: .com :D Also, I don't own anything from Glee or the Hunger Games & I'm currently going unbetta'd. So if anyone would like the job of bullying me until I actually crank out a new chapter, just pm me please c: Enjoy !**

Chasing Smoke

Kurt's eyes widened slightly, but other than that his body was frozen. Santana's jaw dropped and she quickly fumbled with the remote to turn off the television.

"Kurt," she said frantically, grabbing his hand and shaking "Kurt!"

He turned slowly, her voice sounding far away. It was like he was in the ocean again, just like in his dream, kissing Blaine under the water while the rest of the world was on mute. Except Blaine wasn't there, and Santana was looking at him with eyes just as wide as his.

"You can't tell him," she hissed, "Don't mention it at all."

Kurt quickly nodded but still said nothing, his mind still trying to process what he'd just seen on the screen. Beside him, Santana kept on pushing buttons until the screen of the tv went dark. She turned and faced Kurt again, opening her mouth to say something else, but at that exact moment Anthony walked in.

"Hey fishies,"

Both Kurt and Santana turned to look at him and smiled, although rather tensely. They'd known Anthony for years now, as he was the owner of the training center. He was tall and had tanned skin, not as dark as Santana's but definitely darker than Kurt's. In fact, Anthony had known Kurt since he was a baby. Elizabeth Hummel had been a mentor with him every year until she died, and to this day Anthony was the mentor to the pair of tributes reaped every year from District 4.

Santana's smile wavered slightly, and Kurt felt his do the same. "Hey Anthony," he said quietly, "Come to tell us how to stay alive?"

Anthony smiled grimly and took a seat on a nearby chair. "More or less. How do you feel?"

There was a moment of silence before Santana spoke up. "Like I need to win."

Anthony's lips quirked up in a half smile. "That's the spirit, Tana. What about you, Kurt?"

Kurt's hand flew up to play with the anchor charm hanging off his necklace. "Um…" he fidgeted nervously in the couch while thinking of an answer. "I don't know. I don't want to do it."

Anthony nodded. "Neither do I. I don't want to do this anymore. But we have to fishies, so I'm going to get you ready."

Kurt nodded slowly and turned to look at Santana, only to find that she was already looking at him. She shook her head slightly, silently telling him they'd talk about it later, and then turned back to Anthony. Kurt did the same and tried to listen to their mentor as he talked about what would happen as soon as they got to the Capitol, but he couldn't concentrate.

He should concentrate though, because if anything was going to keep him alive in the arena, it was Anthony's advice. Kurt forced himself to focus on the conversation, glancing sideways and finding that Santana was listening closely to every word their mentor said.

"You have to run towards the cornucopia, and once you're there you need to kill. Anyone who gets in your way, you kill them. Unless they're from 1 or 2, but I'll make sure to point those tributes out to you during training. Watch each other's back if you can, because you're going to need each other at least for the first few nights." Anthony's eyes flickered between Santana's determined facial expression and the stress lines on Kurt's forehead, and thought to himself, _they're so young. They shouldn't have to go through this. _But the truth was there was nothing he could do but try to instruct them correctly, because keeping faith during the games was like chasing smoke. Impossible, but many still tried it.

"After the initial fighting, you have to start hunting down everyone else. Listen to me closely, you have to find as many kids as you can the second day and kill them quickly, but when it gets down to the top 8 tributes you _have_ to split up. If one of you wins it would be amazing, but I'd rather not have you two be the last ones left." Anthony went on to talk about the weapons that might be in the cornucopia and that they should take as quickly as they could, along with how they should distribute the rest of the weapons to their allies. "You can't trust anyone, not even each other, and that's why you should find shelter right away." He spoke more of finding shelter, then of finding something edible, although the later was harder to do since they had yet to find out what their surroundings would be. And truthfully, that was one of the hardest things about the games.

Back in District 4, both Kurt and Santana knew their surroundings. They knew which way the beach was, and the time's the tide changed were pretty much engraved into their minds. In a way though, they'd be going into the games blind, because the vital knowledge of their surroundings wouldn't be with them. Anthony glanced at them again as he outlined some of the possible land types they might find themselves in, but before he could talk about more than a few, Kurt interrupted him.

"Would it help if we watched some of the tapes? Of the previous games, I mean. That way we could see how we would have to adjust to the different weathers and such." His voice still sounded slightly nervous, but he'd stopped fighting the urge to make his voice sound strong. He was on a train headed to what very well might be his death place, and he would just be plain stupid if he wasn't at least a bit nervous.

"Yeah," chimed in Santana, "it can't hurt, can it Tony?"

Anthony chuckled. "Ever the overachievers. Hold on a few minutes, I'll go get the tapes from Terry." And with that he exited the compartment again, leaving the two teenagers in the midst of a thick silence.

"So," said Santana carefully, the subject of Blaine not forgotten, "what's…going to happen?"

Kurt glanced at her quickly and threw her what he hoped came off as a threatening look. "Not right now Tana, anyone could hear." He was pretending to be in control about the Blaine situation, pretending he wasn't affected at all, even though he felt his hands shaking slightly again. Seeing Blaine get reaped had unbalanced him, taken everything he knew away and replaced it with a deep dark fear. It was horrible, but at the moment here was nothing he could do about it.

Santana opened her mouth to say something again, but at that moment the door of the compartment opened again and Anthony stepped in holding a box.

"These are numbered according to year. I have a few more things I have to discuss with Terry, so I'll leave you guys to watching them." Anthony set the box on the couch between them and smiled somewhat grimly at them. He hated this, hated having to smile and act upbeat about the whole process, but it was his job. He hated his job, but for the kids' sake he had to go through with it. "I'll have someone call you when dinner is ready."

Both kids smiled tensely back at Anthony and then waited until he'd left, their eyes meeting over the box of tapes.

"So," started Santana again, but Kurt cut her off.

"I said later." He peeked into the box, cautiously inserting his hands in and wrinkling his nose at the thin layer of dirt covering most of the tapes. "Apparently no one watches these on a regular basis. Can't say I blame them."

Santana rolled her eyes. "It's pretty obvious that the only people that watch these are the unlucky bastards who ride this train every year. What a morbid though."

Kurt gave her a dead panned look. "You realize that you just called us 'unlucky bastards'? Because that's not very optimistic at all."

Santana rolled her eyes again. "Well, are we anything else but that?"

The glare Kurt sent her almost made her laugh. "Okay, just forget what I said. We should really watch some of these tapes, though. All the people who won, they've won for a reason."

Kurt nodded and took out a tape, tilting it slightly to get a good look at the year. "This is from…ten years ago. Do you remember that?"

Santana shook her head and gestured towards the tv, indicating that Kurt should play it. Kurt stood up and fiddled around with the tv a bit before inserting the tape and sitting back down to watch it. The image flickered slightly before giving away to Caesar Flickerman, sitting on his couch as always and conducting interviews.

They watched that tape, in which the final tribute won by smashing the other tribute's head with a rock, and then they watched another, in which the tribute who won stabbed his opponent through the chest with a tree branch. Kurt chewed on his lip as he watched both endings, wincing internally but unwilling to show emotion on the outside. Sure, Tana was his best friend, but now she was his opponent as well. Only one person came out of the games alive, and they both wanted to be that one person. He couldn't show weakness, not now.

As the second tape ended, Santana started digging through the tapes. "Okay Hummel, what are we watching next? The one from 20 years ago or the one from…18 years ago? So basically forever ago, or forever ago? Kurt?"

Santana looked up to see Kurt's face a little paler than usual, his reddened lips standing out as he bit at them again. "Kurt?"

Kurt tore his eyes away from the tape and looked up at Santana. "This is the tape from the year my mom won."

"Oh." Santana racked her brain for something to say. She had very vague memories of a tall, light skinned woman with chestnut colored hair, just like Kurt, but since she hadn't been his friend back then she only remembered his mom as someone from their neighborhood. "Do you…want to watch it?"

He looked down at the tape again, his fingers skimming lightly over his mom's name, which was written on the side of the tape. "I…yes. Yes, I think so."

Santana took the tape from him and quickly played it, sitting back to watch how the famous Elizabeth Hummel had won the games the year she was 17. Her interview proved she was charming and a little shy, but the arena would prove she was more than that. The setting was a desert-like area with patches of forest land scattered around, making it difficult for people to move from the places they'd initially taken refuge at. Elizabeth was fierce at the battle of the cornucopia, killing several tributes and then teaming up with the rest of the careers. But after that she stood back and let the others take charge, only abandoning them once they were down to the final eight.

The final battle was between her and a girl from district two, who was overpowered by Elizabeth in the end. Elizabeth slit the tribute's throat and then stabbed her chest quickly to make sure she didn't suffer, then stared down grimly at her blood stained hands as the canons announced her victory.

"Wow," uttered Santana, after staring at the blank tv screen once the tape had finished. "Just…wow."

Kurt just blinked. He'd always seen his mom as the kind, gentle woman that would hold his hand and play with him in the sand. But after seeing the tape of her victory, he couldn't help but admire her in a whole new way.

"Your mom was a badass."

Kurt couldn't resist the grim smile that tugged at his lips. "She really was. And we're going to have to be just like her if we want to win."

X

Dinner was a quiet affair, filled mostly with Terry's talk about past glories and the possibility of a new one this year. Santana mostly rolled her eyes at everything, but she didn't eat. Kurt noticed she pushed her food around but didn't consume more than tree bites. He did the same, although he tried not to. He knew they'd need their strength in the arena.

After dinner Kurt and Santana were each shown to a room, and after a shaky smile and a tense wave they each disappeared into their own room to try and get some rest. Kurt walked into the bathroom and got ready for bed, taking extra time to wash his face carefully. Then he walked back into the room and peeled off his clothes, dropping them on the floor and pulling on the pajamas that had been laid out for him on the bed. They were made out of thin material but were incredibly warm and comfortable.

Normally, Kurt would have taken time to admire the design of the room as well as the color scheme, but he couldn't. He lay down on his bed and closed his eyes tightly, pulling the covers over himself and trying to stop the memories that were playing in his head like they were on repeat.

_They were in Kurt's room, Blaine having come over to help Kurt tidy up, but since Burt wasn't home they had ended up making out on the bed. Blaine was straddling Kurt and pressing kisses to his neck, whispering his name over and over. They were rarely home alone, so they were enjoying it while they could. _

"_Kurt," whispered Blaine, kissing his jaw lightly, "Kurt Kurt Kurt."_

"_Blaine," whimpered Kurt, his arms wrapped tight around Blaine's neck, "My dad will be home soon."_

_Blaine sighed softly and pulled back a little, looking into Kurt's eyes and smiling. "You look beautiful like this. With your lips all red and your hair all messy."_

_Kurt scowled a little and attempted to fix his hair with his fingers. "Blaine, I told you not to mess up my hair." _

_Blaine laughed a little and leaned down to kiss Kurt again. "Sorry, but I like how you look with messy hair. Well actually, I always like how you look. No matter what you're wearing or how your hair looks." _

_Kurt smiled up at him and pulled him down for a kiss. "And I'm the luckiest, because I have you all for myself."_

"_It goes both ways you know," murmured Blaine softly after the kiss, "I'm lucky to have you too."_

Kurt sat up and pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes, trying to force his tears back, as letting them fall would only make everything real. His frame shook slightly from trying to hold in his tears, but till, he refused to let them fall. He didn't even want to think of Blaine anymore, but the fact that he was going to see him again in just a few hours made him feel queasy.

He fell back against the pillows and sighed quietly, curling up on his side and closing his eyes. "You were so good to me, Blaine," he whispered, "but now what happened between us will most likely curse me." Kurt sighed once again and then closed his eyes, quickly sinking into an uneasy slumber.

X

_There was sand all around him, sand scattered along the forest floor. Kurt looked around, but he couldn't see much due to the dense amount of foliage surrounding the small clearing where he stood._

"_Hello?" he called out. "Can anyone…is there anyone there?"_

_There was no answer. He started walking around the clearing cautiously, noticing his feet were bare and his dress very simple. His hair seemed to be free of any of the natural products he usually tamed it with, and the light seemed to be slowly diminishing._

_There was a snap somewhere behind him, but as he turned quickly to sight the person who had tried to sneak up on him, his heart dropped. Blaine was slowly emerging from behind a wide tree trunk, but his eyes weren't filled with warmth and laughter like they'd always been before. Instead they were hard and cold, his mouth set at a grim line as he stepped forward. _

"_B-blaine?" Kurt stepped forward tentatively. "Blaine, are you…where are we? And why are you looking at me like that? Blaine?"_

_But Blaine just shook his head slowly. Then, in a low voice, he said, "I don't want to, Kurt. I don't. But I have to."_

_Kurt tilted his head inquisitively. "Blaine, what do you mean?"_

_Blaine help up his right hand, and that was when Kurt noticed the glittering knife he held. "I have to, Kurt. I have to." _

"_Blaine? Blaine, why do you have a knife?" Kurt's voice shook slightly, and his feet started to walk backwards on their own, away from Blaine and the knife. "Blaine?"_

"_I have to, Kurt. I'm sorry." The Blaine raised the knife again and lunged forward, aiming for Kurt's chest._

_Kurt screamed and ran, his feet feeling the carpet of green beneath him and sliding a bit because of the sand. "Blaine, what are you doing?! Blaine!"_

_But Blaine just continued after him, not saying anything else. His actions were enough to show that he was not the Blaine Kurt was used to, and the new Blaine's mentality was apparently set on killing Kurt._

_Kurt ran until his feet felt sand instead of moss beneath them, looking over his shoulder every few seconds to make sure Blaine was still a few feet away. "Blaine, you need to stop. Please Blaine, stop!"_

_But Blaine didn't, and as he lunged forward again he succeeded in catching the fabric of Kurt's shirt with his knife. Kurt screamed as he felt himself fall back, then again as he felt the knife pressed against his throat. The second scream was more of a whimper though, as fear crept into his bright blue eyes._

"_B-blaine," he whispered, "Blaine please. Please."_

"_I'm sorry, Kurt."_

X

"Kurt!"

Kurt's eyes snapped open as he sat up quickly, drenched in cold sweat and shaking. Santana had her hand on his shoulder, a worried look on her face as she peered at him.

"Kurt," she said quietly, "you were yelling."

He rubbed the tears from his eyes hurriedly and then turned to Santana, breathing deeply as he tried to calm himself. "Did anyone else hear me?"

Santana shook her head. "No. I came in here to talk to you in private, and that's when I saw you tossing and turning. Are you okay?"

Kurt ran his fingers through his hair and then sucked in air again, feeling a little better now that he knew that the whole thing with Blaine had been a dream. "I'm…I'm fine. I just…nightmare."

"Was it about, Blaine?"

Her words hung in the air and went straight to his soul, making him choke up as he nodded. Santana slipped her hand into his and squeezed gently, biting her lip as she chose her next words carefully. "Kurt, we're you and Blaine, you know…more than friends?"

Kurt's answer got caught in his throat again, so he just turned to Santana and nodded again. Then, a single tear made its way down his cheek. Santana wrapped her arms around Kurt and he rested his head on her shoulder, shaking slightly. He hated this, hated feeling weak and emotional, but right now he couldn't help it. He was trapped in a game he couldn't win, because even if he won, he really didn't.

His best friend was going into the arena with him, as well as his first love. An arena where the only way to survive was to kill, and where the blood of 24 teenagers would be spilled no matter what. Everything could happen, and everything would. Santana and Blaine wouldn't be anything else in there than another target, and the worst part was that there was nothing he could do about it.

"I don't want to, Tana," he whispered, "I don't want to do this."

"I know," she replied softly, "but we have to."

X

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